i slipped up

I used to make myself sick. i did it because i couldn't cope, i've stopped now because i want to be strong and that's not all i have to say.
And also, i luv this guy but he doesn't luve me back. he changed his mind in a few hours. i hate it. i don't think i can even be his friend now. but i want to be. i'm just scared that he'll fall in luv with me again and i'll be right back here in six months. because this has hapened before.
i was going to give him a blow job. he has a willy 16 cm long. he told me so i would know what to expect when i went down on him.